This week has been highly productive and great fun. But last night my inner-saboteur kicked in. Now it could’ve been something to do with having a cup of (decaf) coffee for the first time since Sunday (I’m sure it hasn’t helped) but it’s more likely my mind wants to fuck up my happiness.
I’ve been saying ‘make friends with your demons’ since my 20s. I’m sure it’s been said before but a google search doesn’t throw up anything that predates the late 90s so for now I’ve attributed the quote to anon.
‘Make friends with your demons.’ By this I guess I’m talking about awareness and seeing thoughts for what they are – just thoughts. Demons come in all shapes and sizes for all of us – that voice/those voices in our heads, memories, illusions and delusions, echoes of our past-selves that we can’t see anymore – old patterned behaviour, etc… which are all one thing and one thing only – thoughts. We can’t change the past. We can’t predict the future. But we can make choices for ourselves in the here and now.
Learning to observe thoughts and be “the observer of your thoughts” is a tricky concept but I’ve found with years of practice the anxiety and depression has severely lessoned. Don’t get me wrong, I still experience it but I’ve learned (and continue to learn) to manage it and not identify with it on a daily basis.
Through the therapy and training I’ve had in recent years I’ve come to discover that you can’t control your thoughts and feelings. BUT you can manage them. You can learn not to identify with them AND you can learn to let them go. There is no quick fix (as I naively believed a long time ago). It’s an ongoing process and takes a life’s work. And often it can be extremely challenging. But worth it in the long run.
So why am I writing this blog? Certainly not to teach, preach or brag. But because maybe sharing this story might just help in some small way.
In the past I’ve often let that inner-saboteur derail me and end up spending a few days on the sofa in front of the TV, thoughts swirling around in my head; or sleeping during the day. But not today. Today I want to overcome it and continue working on the projects that have brought me some joy.
Learning to look inwards and reflect on what’s going on in the mind is a powerful skill that can have such a positive impact on a person’s well-being. So today I’ll be re-acquainting myself with some old friends and when the time comes I’ll be waving them goodbye.
Drop a comment below for a free virtual hug. Have a great day!